Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Insert Clever Title Here

Spam-tastic!

After 25 lengthy blog entries It gets harder and harder to come up with ideas about what to write for you guys!  I hope that I am still keeping your interest up since I feel like the quality of some of my blog posts has been as comparable as Spam is to real ham (aka, not comparable). I do have some ideas still, but they take some extra effort on my part to actually go out and do some kind of activity to come back and report it in a hilarious and financially informative way. I guess since I have a few thousand hits now and I’ve been read in more than 20 countries (I’m looking at you Peru) it means that some of you are interested, or maybe looking for ways to steal my identity by hacking my computer (I'm looking at you China)…

Anyway, here we are in the month of May and I am beyond pleased with my results and efforts to kick my debt in the ball sack thus far, but I can see the real difference that making the minimum payment versus paying off my bills more aggressively. The numbers are speaking for themselves. My MasterCard is finally getting to a point where I am beginning to see the light and it’s finally under $10,000. When I started out in October of last year, my balance was a fracking $14,581.45. The last reaction I had when I mentioned that figure left the person shocked and I believe that they had to pick their jaw up off the floor. Although I was more than happy to report  to her that I had paid off a whopping $4,600 in the past 7 months and a total of 18.84% of my debt.

Gail Vaz-Oxlade is coming for you Prince$$!
When I update all my financial figures on the left hand side of my blog, I do get financially aroused that all the amounts owing are going down and that my savings is climbing ever higher (as my roommate would say – WHOO!). But there is a clear difference between the amount the amount that I pay aggressively versus the amounts that I am only making the minimum payment on. Look at my regular line of credit for example. My starting balance was $4,991.57 (out of $5,000) and now it’s only down $851.76 in 7 months thanks to minimum payments. Since my interest rate is sitting at a disgusting 10.5%, it will take me 45 months to pay off a measly $5,000. Millionaires probably spend $5000 on toilet paper and high quality prophylactics and here I am, being a dum bass for the next 45 months paying off my stoo-pid debt. When I hear that people “only” have $10,000 of debt, it’s terribly sad that I actually think “I wish”. I hope that those of you who “only” have $10,000 of debt and just making minimum payments are finally getting a clue from watching my numbers drop that your minuscule payment process just doesn’t make a lick of sense. Also keep in mind that I haven’t even touched that line of credit for spending since October so if you’re only making minimum payments AND using your credit still, you should probably watch your back because Gail will come after you. Of course once my credit card debt is gone, my eyes will be on that mother-trucker-regular-line-of-credit so it better go out and by some Depends because it’s going $hit a brick when I get through with it!

How to make me puke.
Ok, so enough about me preaching about how to get it together and on to the part where I pass along some valuable words wisdom to my loyal readers; last weekend I got really drunk and woke up on my toilet at 6:30 am wondering why the bathroom lights were so bright, but that has nothing to do with my point about saving – well not really. Sunday was my book club meeting and I was in charge of making delicious home made buns to bring as part of the whole pot-luck idea. I’ll tell you now, the buns were never made. Yes, it’s true, I actually laid in bed most of the afternoon cursing red-wine, Jack Daniels, and sour puss for leaving me with a wicked hangover and a great story for my blog. Instead of making buns which would have cost me at most $3.00 to make 2 dozen, I went to the store and had to buy some pita chips and hummus. The chips and dip went over well and probably mixed better with the delicious food that the others brought, but I ended up spending $10 and felt like a d-bag for neglecting my budget. Yes, my budget consumes my life in every single spending aspect. The part that I stopped to think about though was how much I still managed to save and what a great thing a book club can be for saving you money. Here are some things about book clubs that I have found to be most budget-friendly:

  1. Books are Cheap Entertainment
It is no secret that when you get wrapped up in a book, you can spend hours exercising your brain and not spend a penny doing this. It’s even cheaper if you borrow the book from a friend or your local library. Did you know that you can even rent movies from the library? How wonderful! Okay, I’m a nerd, get over yourself!

  1. You get to Hang out with Friends In a Spend-Free Environment
These days, I like to do anything that keeps me far from a cash register, so going to a friend’s place instead of the mall where all those annoying teenagers are is always a good thing. Not only do you not have to spend any money, but you get hours of entertainment from your friend’s cat running back and forth across the floor because you’re taking about the book instead of giving it snuggles and attention.

  1. Fill your Potbelly with Pot Luck
Man do I love potlucks. I get to eat delicious food for incredibly cheap, make dishes that impress that cost me next to nothing, and leave the place with a full stomach. There were brownies with freaking PEP mints in them! If my mouth could orgasm, it would have then.

  1. Buying Books in Bulk Saves You Money
The number one expense for a book club, the freaking book of course! Now here’s where having a group can pay off. If you order online all together, you can save money on shipping. Or if you go down to your local book store and order a stack of books, sometimes they will give you a discount. If you want your book club to save even more money, consider reading more classics. You can find old editions everywhere and you can probably find it in your grandparents’ library or something. Just get creative and look for ways that you can still get your book, but save some money in the process. Why pay full price for anything when you don’t have to?

Alright, that’s enough ranting for one week. I think overall this entry will make you all happy in some way. I did a little preachy stuff at the beginning, threw in a little saving idea at the end, and even hit you up with a bit of humour, vulgarity and even said the word orgasm for the first time in a blog entry (make that 2 times). My levels of restraint never cease to amaze me. Until next time ladies and gentlemen!

John

P.S. Did you know that you can share this wisdom with friends? Look at the little icons below. Any publicity is good publicity if it gets me one step closer to meeting Gail Vaz-Oxlade! 

1 comment:

  1. Books and Pot-luck!

    Lol, sounds a lot like you've been eating with Gigi lately ;)

    Can't wait to be home to do the same!

    ReplyDelete