Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Golden Handcuffs

Every time that the seasons change, I feel like I need to make a change to some aspect of my life, and I’m not really sure why this is. Yesterday I was a huge sack of $hit towards my partner about stupid things that really don’t matter (at least not in the grand scheme of things) but the main focus of my discontent was money. OSAP (Student loans) still hasn’t come through for my partner due to an error on their part and it has left me covering the shortfall for my partner and I. Of course when the loan comes in, I will get all the money I’ve lent back again, but I really hate not being able to be aggressive with my debt payments. I also hate seeing him getting frustrated that he cannot contribute the way he wants to and struggling to find a job while I am able to have two jobs.

What’s important is that I am not holding back and helping my partner get all the things that he needs for school and keeping his tummy full of delicious foodstuffs. After all, this is a partnership and when you love someone (and are dating them) you shouldn’t leave them hanging and feeling stressed out about how they are going to eat dinner. He is loving his program and it seems to be going really well for him, it’s just $hitty that he needs a job. If you’ve ever been in school and looking for a job at the same time, you can sympathize with how much time it takes to find something and remain focused on your studies. Fortunately we both understand that this is temporary and it will be over before we know it. Additionally, he is being a very smart cookie and looking into getting a couple bursaries that will help him with his education.

Find me at Moksha Yoga Ottawa!
My job at the yoga studio is becoming so much more than just a receptionist at the front desk, I am now the man in charge of the very same volunteer program that I started doing almost 2 years ago. I really am enjoying being the manager of the program and working with the volunteers to keep the program organized and moving smoothly. You could say that it’s making me rethink what it is that I want to do with my career. If I didn’t have the golden handcuffs on me which come with being a public servant, and the ball and chain that is my debt, I think I would have taken a huge leap onto a completely different path by now. I fully acknowledge that I will not be in the jobs that I am now when I retire, so I have been thinking about a lot of questions about what the next chapter in my life will be.

There are very few people who know this, but there is a very good chance that I will be moving within the next year or two. With my partner being back in school, he may need to move to Toronto, Montreal, or Vancouver (all great options) to do the next part of his schooling for a couple years and I need to start planning how I am going to get there with him (if this all ends up happening). It’s a big change that I know I can handle, but all that really runs through my mind is the “how the heck am I going to be able to afford this” question. Of course I think about other things as well, mainly missing friends, and the auxiliary annoyances of packing, and all that other craziness, but for me, it all comes back to the money. There is nothing I would hate more than to be right back in this debt situation again, but I guess that would be lucky for you all since I would still have to keep this blog running and the good news for me is that I am building a reference guide to remind myself to stay the heck out of this situation!

Certainly I have proven that I know how to make a budget and my skill set has been expanded to new limits, so now I need to think about what I can do to get myself setup for a job that I will love in another city where competition is fierce and rent is high. Obviously I seem to have found my “what’s next” for when my debt is paid off – I need to start saving for some kind a big change. I can say that I am happy with the way that things are going overall, but at the same time, I get these feelings that I am becoming stagnant and need to do something to shake things up in my life. Again, this really isn’t the case, but it’s just how I feel. 

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